Half Past Dead (2002)
Action/Adventure
1 hr. 39 min.
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for (for pervasive action violence, language and some
Release Date: November 15th, 2002.
Starring: Morris Chestnut, Steven Seagal, Ja Rule, Kurupt, Nia Peeples
Directed by: Don Michael Paul

 

Sascha Petrosevitch is an undercover FBI agent who has teamed to up with a crook named Nick Frazier, who vouched for him with to get him into the crime syndicate of the master criminal Sonny Ekvall, who runs, the biggest crime syndicate between Eastern Europe and the Pacific Rim. But when a crime job goes bad Nick gets thrown into New Alcatraz, and Sascha goes with him to prison to keep up his facade of his undercover duty as a FBI agent. Later, after his cover is blown, he explains to Nick that the FBI thought if he did time with Nick, it would help him get inside the criminal organization. But when they get to prison they find out it contains an old man who is about to go to the chair with the secret of $200 million in gold bars that he hid before he went to jail. But some bad guys want his secret though, and cooperate with an insider to break into the prison, taking hostage a female U.S. Supreme Court Justice who is on a tour of Death Row, where they plan to escape with the old guy and get the gold. Nick and Sascha team up and risk their lives in a nonstop series of shoot-outs, explosions, martial arts fights and shoulder-launched rocket battles in order to save the Supreme Court justice. So it’s up to Nick and Sascha to save the day and defy death to save the lives of the inmates and the innocent.

There are few movies that are so bad that they should burn the prints rather then admit they made these atrocities and this movie is one of them. The entire plot is so ridiculous and ludicrous that you can’t help but want to throw things at the screen, like the fact that Seagal is willing to go to prison for 5 years to maintain his undercover status. Also the acting is some of the worst and most horrible acting I have ever seen. Steven Seagal must be 10 years past the point where he could make and action movie as he appears old, fat and over the hill through the entire movie. It makes any martial arts scene he does look ludicrous as this out of shape 50-year-old man tries to make you believe he could beat anybody up besides a grandmother who just escaped from a rest home. And I am sick and tired of rappers and singers making movies when they cannot act. Ja Rule was so horrible I have to wonder if they agreed to let him do the movie if he would give them a free soundtrack. Although the soundtrack sucked as well so I have to wonder if that was his revenge at them. Rappers should not be allowed to act in movies especially ones with and over the hill, out of shape ex-action movie star. This movie was utter garbage and they should pay you to watch it and not throw things at the screen.
0 stars out of 5