A world-famous soccer coach has been murdered and his priceless, legendary ring has been stolen--a ring set with the stunning diamond known as the "Pink Panther." The French government needs a master detective to solve the crime and recover the gem--but he's not available, so they recruit none other than Inspector Jacques Clouseau. A stunning pop star, a soccer player, a Chinese assassin circles--but who committed the crime? And can anyone solve the case? Clouseau and his partner, Ponton, must unmask the murderer and keep their boss, Dreyfus, from taking credit for the victory, all without bringing the French legal system to a screeching halt.

You would think before making a remake to anything you would watch the original at least once or maybe even more than once to get a sense of the movie. I have a had time believing anyone who made this tripe has ever seen the original or has any idea how to even come close to duplicating it. If you were expecting the Pink Panther, I am sorry you will be highly disappointed. On the other hand if you were expecting a movie written for the 8-12 year old crowd masquerading as the Pink Panther this is the movie for you. It is like they saw the jokes and heard the jokes but had no idea why the jokes were funny. It’s like they saw the slapstick and the fun and had no idea how to reproduce it. This movie more resembled the Son or the Curse of the Pink Panther long after the series had run out of steam and when the series needed to be put to bed.

This movie is a travesty, is it any wonder the studio execs bumped and rebumped the movie’s release date because I am sure they knew what they had in their hands and knew it could not compete against any movie of any real merit. Why would you take a smartly and cleverly written comedy and dumb it down to the tween crowd and then try and pass it off as a good movie is far beyond me. This movie resembles the Son of the Mask as it insulting to all the previous Pink Panther movies that came before it. It doesn’t understand the characters nor their motives that is trying so vainly to imitate. This is just another movie in a bad run of crappy remakes that are insulting the audiences who see them and see the originals they fail to rsemble.

Steve Martin is so painfully not Peter Sellers or for that matter Jacques Clouseau. Every time he is on the screen you find yourself grimacing at his overacting and hamming it up rather than playing it subtle like Sellers did. I was baffled why they let him go on like this making an ass out of himself and the film when Kevin Kline would have pulled the role off much better. So Kevin Kline is forced to play second banana all the time doing a fair job at the subtle humor that is so lost on Martin and making me want to slap the producers for never sitting down and watching the original Panther movie. And anytime you have to resort to a pop-star/wannabe actor like Beyoncé Knowles to try an attract a teenager crowd you are in trouble. There is a reason Beyoncé should stick to singing and avoid movies and that reason is she can’t act. So they miscast the part of Inspector Clouseau and then throw in a wannabe actor and expect us to enjoy a movie they have made a travesty out of. I wonder if the irony of the theatrical poster is lost on the producers of this movie “Get a Clue,” because they desperately needed a clue on how to make a good Pink Panther movie instead of sorry retread.

Grade: D